The Cleveland Cavaliers’ Bonkers Trades Pave the Way for LeBron to Leave

Since LeBron James and his Cleveland Cavaliers lost to the Golden State Warriors (a favorite pastime of theirs) on Christmas, the team has been mired in a 7-12 slump, tumbling to third place in the Eastern Conference and only three games away from falling out of the playoff picture entirely. In the hours before Thursday afternoon's trade deadline, Cavs general manager Koby Altman finally responded to his team's alarming recent struggles by, uh... [squints] trading everyone on the roster? As part of a three-team deal between Cleveland, Sacramento, and Utah, the Cavs picked up a pair of entirely adequate guards in George Hill and Rodney Hood, while ridding themselves of Jae Crowder, Iman Shumpert, and the Artist Formerly Known as Derrick Rose.